Baby Seeds
by Ravyn Skye
Summary: NOT LOLI! T for Language! Rin gets Sesshoumaru to play 'house' with her, and he finds out how Rin thinks babies are made. HE certainly isn't going to correct her. This is NOT a loli story, and is meant to be funny. Was written for Rickashay!


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sesshoumaru, Rin, or Jaken.

A/N: The 'game'Rin plays with the taking three sips from three cups is called the san-san-kudo and it is the traditional Japanese wedding ceremony, although it is done with sake instead of water. Sesshoumaru has no idea of this though. Also, the 'vows' may seem misogynistic, but in the traditional Japanese ceremony focuses on a woman promising to be _obedient _to her husband and he promises to care for her instead of her father, and basically Japan is a really patriarchal society, at least it was back then, so that is how I wrote it; because that is what RIN would see as NORMAL.

~*~ Baby Seeds ~*~

"Play with me!"

"No."

"Come on, Jaken-sama! Play with Rin!"

"No."

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Jaken-sama won't play with Rin!"

"Jaken, play with her."

"Mi Lord… You have no idea what the girl wants to_… play_."

Rin suddenly brightened, looking at her Lord with hopeful eyes, "Will…" She looked down and blushed, pulling her hands behind her and swaying her hips side to side, trying her best to look her cutest, "… Will Sesshoumaru-sama play 'house' with Rin?"

Sesshoumaru glanced around, making certain no one would be there to witness such actions, because surely, he could not say 'no' to that bashful little smile. He sighed, "What does this game entail?"

Rin's eyes grew big and bright, her smile splitting her face from ear to ear; she couldn't believe her luck! Sesshoumaru-sama had agreed to play with her!"Oh yay! Okay… All Sesshoumaru-sama has to do is sit across from Rin and look handsome."

"So I just sit here?" Rin nodded and scampered off, "Rin will be _right_ back!" she promised, and sure enough, she came back moments later brandishing the old cracked tea set that the Miko had gifted her with only a short while ago, and flowers stuck up all in her hair.

"Okay, now… Rin pours some water in three cups, and then she takes three sips, and then Sesshoumaru-sama takes three sips, and we do it for all three of them."

"That's it?" Sesshoumaru cocked a brow, getting a rather bad feeling about this whole thing, but as of yet, it didn't seem so very difficult, and the girl was beyond pleased.

"Okay, now, Jaken-sama," Rin turned to the little youkai, "You have to say these words…" Rin leaned over and whispered in the old green kappa's ear, and the toad rolled his eyes.

"Do you Rin agree to be obiedient to all of Sesshoumaru-sama's decrees from this day forward?"

Rin nodded, picked up a cup, drank three small sips of water, and then passed it to Sesshoumaru. "I agree."

"Do you Sesshoumaru-sama, Lord of the Western Lands, current Inu No Taishou and heir to the mantle of the West agree to take under your care this…" the toad rolled his eyes again, "woman from this day forward?"

Sesshoumaru looked at Rin, feeling that bad feeling in the pit of his stomach once more, "Come on, Sesshoumaru-sama! You have to say you agree to play the game right!"

He narrowed his eyes, but nodded and said, "I agree," while Rin again picked up a cup, took three small sips, then passed it to him, so he could mimic her actions.

"And do the two of you agree to be together in this life and the next?" Rin's eyes sparkled as she nodded vigoriously and Sesshoumaru wordlessly followed suit, muttering out, "I agree," one final time before taking the final cup from Rin and taking his three sips.

Rin was so excited she jumped up and ran around in circles, "YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Sesshoumaru-sama and Rin will be together forever!"

Sesshoumaru shook his head at her idocy, wondering how a few words and sharing some water from some stupid cups could even hint at that possibility in her mind, but it seemed they were finished with this game, and he was sorely looking forward to going back to staring off aimlessly into space while Rin and Jaken bickered.

"Okay, now for the next part!"

"Next part?" Sesshoumaru answered wearily.

"Okay, lay down Sesshoumaru-sama and go to sleep."

"What?"

"We have to sleep next to each other now!"

"What?"

"Just lay down… pleeeeaasssee?"

"Fine." Sesshoumaru reclined back, and Rin took up residence a few inches away, laying down parallel to him, but not touching him.

Suddenly, she started to wriggle around. "What are you doing?"

"Okay, now Sesshoumaru-sama has to move around a lot and moan like his tummy hurts.'

"What?"

"Pleeeeease?"

He was not going to wriggle around like some sort of victim of spasms as the idiot-child next to him was doing. He gave himself _one_ very small, and very regal well-defined shake, as though he were wet and shaking himself dry.

"Now moan."

"Why?"

"Puh-leeeeeeeeese, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Rin, is this stupidity nearly at its close?"

"We'll be done as soon as Sesshoumaru-sama makes noises like his tummy hurts."

Sesshoumaru sighed, and, if only to finish this sooner, he gave one small and very much dignified grunt. "Hnf."

"YAY!" Rin jumped up again, running in circles, with her arms up as though celebrating a victory, "Now Sesshoumaru-sama baby seeds went in Rin's tummy! Yaaaaaay!"

Full. Fucking. Stop.

What… the_… hell_… did she just say?

"Baby seeds?"

The child most obviously suffered from some human malady affecting the intellect. There was absolutely no other explanation.

"Yeah… Rin's momma says that after you get married with a boy, you have to lay down and sleep next to each other so his baby seeds can go in your belly… Rin saw her mommy and daddy sleep next to each other every night, and one time she saw them moving around under the blankets and they were moaning like their tummies hurt and when Rin asked 'why' her momma said it was to help her daddy's baby seeds jump into Rin's mommy's tummy."

Sesshoumaru had no idea what this "married"thing was, but as for the rest, he _was not_ going to correct her. He sat up, dusting himself off, trying very, very hard not say anything he would regret later.

"That is exactly what happens when offspring are made, Rin; although this Sesshoumaru is all out of baby seeds."

"Awwwwwww… Really? Can he get some next time we go near a village?"

Sesshoumaru had long ago learned that simply agreeing to shut her up was a far more effective technique to keeping his sanity than actually trying to argue with (or educate) her was. "Perhaps, but for now, this Sesshoumaru has other business to attend to."

Sesshoumaru gave an evil looking glare over his shoulder as he walked away, "Jaken. Your turn. Play with Rin."

Rin looked at Jaken like a hunter sizing up her prey, "YAAAAY! Jaken-sama' s gonna play with Rin!"

Jaken shook his head sadly, watching hopelessly as his Lord took to the skies, "Mi Lord is so, so cruel."


End file.
